Sunday, October 20, 2013


A few weeks ago my spouse and I were interviewed for a local newspaper.

Full story HERE

As you can see, this article has absolutely nothing to do with gender. It's focused on one aspect of our lives: our toy collection.

The reporter was very polite (although clearly out of his element when talking to giant toy nerds), and we spent a lovely hour or so chatting with him about our collections, and why we collect. He took a few photos, thanked us for our time, and left.

During it all, I wanted to politely ask him to write the article in such a way that used gender neutral language for me. Somehow, throughout the entire process of geeking out over toys, all I could think about was that this public snippet of my life was about to go out into the world, and I KNEW there would be female pronouns used. That knowledge actually caused me quite a bit of stress and internal turmoil.

I never did work up the courage to ask him. After all, that wasn't the can of worms he was here to talk to me about, was it? And did I really want to out myself to this complete stranger? How on earth would I explain it to him? And I live in one of the more progressive cities in the world. Our local university recently renovated to have gender neutral washrooms available for crying out loud, and weathered the controversy and conversations around it very well.

But you see, my gender isn't compartmentalized, that it only affects certain aspects of who I am. And I'm betting your gender isn't either. It's not a part of who I am, it is a foundational block for who I am.

 My gender runs through my entire life, intersecting with every other aspect of it.

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