Lately I've been seeing things which upset- sometimes even anger me. Innocent comments which make me want to lash out with a snide comment trying to teach the original poster a lesson. Now, I know (sadly from experience) that this method actually solves nothing.
But I do need to vent a little and get some things off of my chest (Even though I'm sure I've said all of this before).
I tend to go through this any time someone announces that they're pregnant. Instantly people start asking/discussing the baby's "gender." There's reasons why this frustrates me so:
- Gender and Sex are different. Gender is a complex sociological, psychological identity, and Sex is what biology assigns to you. Neither is binary, and the two are NOT intrinsically linked (although the vast majority of the population gets the privilege of having the two sync up).
- Why is that the most important part of having a baby? Shouldn't we be more intrigued by the baby's health? Every baby has a meat shape, and every meat shape is different, and that early in life the meat shape is developing so rapidly and changing so rapidly that WHAT DOES IT MATTER????
What's making this strike home for me so soundly, is that the comment which instigated this was a "friend's" Facebook status. I'm generally pretty picky about who I accept a Facebook friendship with, but lately I've been seeing a lot of comments and posts which go to show me just how ignorant people are. It's not always in relation to Gender Politics, sometimes it's just Politics in general, or Religion... and what I'm struggling with is this:
Do I stay "friends" with these people, knowing their Facebook updates generally do nothing but infuriate me? Generally the people making these comments I only ever talk to on Facebook, so "unfriending" them would be essentially cutting them out of my life completely. Some are family, some are simply childhood friends where we've grown apart...
Ok, after all of that venting, I know the answer. Pick your battles. And the internet is not the proper place for it. I don't want to turn into this person:
I have unfriended friends (people I actually used to be friends with) and family members (bet you can guess who) for pissing me off with their narrow-mindedness. I feel richer for it. At this point in my life, I don't need people around who make my blood boil. I say go for it. Unless it's this preggo here that offended you... then please explain what offended you and give me a second chance! :)
ReplyDeleteLol- minutes after I hit the "publish" button I realized you may think I meant you. Let me state for the record that no, your announcement of your pregnancy has not set off my "narrow-minded ass" radar!
DeleteI was pretty sure you weren't referring to me --- but you never know. I have offended people by my comments on facebook and emails before without intending too. In fact, my brother has warned me that my parents might be offended by my latest blog post, so part of me is wrestling with the decision to delete it or not. I always feel bad when I offend people, intentionally or not. But at the same time, you can only be offended if you see yourself in a scenario, right? After I read your post (which I always enjoy, by the way) and commented, though, I realized that I'd inadvertantly used the word 'gender' instead of 'sex' on my second comment, which totally missed the whole point of your post! LOL Hence the deleted comment.
DeleteYa, I can see how your parents might take that the wrong way... But if you want to discuss a controversial issue you can't please everyone (hence why it's controversial, lol).
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ReplyDeleteP.S. - We don't know our baby's sex and we've decided not to find out. My daughter says that the baby can wear all her too small pink clothing, anyway, even if it's a little brother, he won't mind! :)
ReplyDeletePS- your daughter is awesome!
DeleteOh- and part of me wants to remain blissfully unaware of your baby's gender. I've seen articles on "Sacha" who was 5 before his parents actually announced gender (caused a big uproar recently when the Mom finally announced it). It was kind of awesome.
DeleteYou got it, you are officially scratched off our birth announcement and Christmas card list so that I don't inadvertantly tell you the baby's sex. Hmm... better unfriend you too, because I'll probably splash it all over facebook in the fall. Oh... and don't talk to Aunty Ev, she won't be able to keep it a secret. Hmm... that should cover all my bases! talk to you in 5 years. ;)
DeleteI would just be civil with these people. We have a very narrow-minded society. :(
ReplyDeleteYa, this post was purely knee-jerk rant, since I was trying to avoid "yelling" at the individual over facebook, lol.
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