Germany's "Indeterminate" sex category

There has been a lot of media attention paid to the fact that Germany has recently allowed for a third option on their birth certificates: Male, Female, and Indeterminate. One of the best articles I've read can be found here, as it offers a fairly balanced view of the changes.

Historically, babies born with atypical sex organs undergo "normalizing" surgery within the first few days after birth, so that the parents may check off either M or F on the birth registration. According to some stats I've found (which... I'll be honest... it's internet research, so take it with a grain of salt), approximately 1.5% of the population is born with "atypical" sex organs. Germany's move to creating a third option allows parents to take time and NOT force their baby to undergo normalizing surgery and potential hormone treatment in order to force their baby into one of the two recognized categories. By the way, if you're one of those parents who is morally outraged by the traditional practice of circumcision, you really ought to educate yourself on this one too... if a baby's penis is "too small" doctors will surgically remove it entirely, and construct a vagina instead. If a baby has both sex organs, often the penis and testicles will be surgically removed. Sometimes, parents aren't even aware of this until after the fact.

What I find incredible is that even with this seemingly progressive step of recognizing that not all babies are born with distinct male or female genitalia (or sometimes both), it is still creating life-altering repercussions based on genitalia. What's between your legs is trumpeted to the entire world as the defining characteristic of what makes you YOU. The intention for German babies is that now parents can wait until the child is old enough to make the selection for themselves and a new "X" category is planned for German passports to allow these people to decide to stay as "indeterminate."

One of the criticisms of this is that it  doesn't go far enough to protect these individuals. It forces them to be "out" as "atypical" and yet there are no additional non-discrimination laws for intersex individuals. It also doesn't  prevent the "normalizing" surgeries, which was the intent of the change in the first place. Imagine you have just had a baby. You've spent 9 months wondering the age old question: Boy or Girl? And the doctor announces "I don't know." How would you feel? While "normalizing" surgery isn't required in order to register within the allotted time as either M or F anymore, doctors may still be recommending it, and you may see it as the "safer" option to prevent your child from growing up with the stigma of being "other." We all want what's best for our  children, and that includes knowing they are accepted and included by their peers. Will new parents be fully aware of their options?

But my biggest question is; why are we still selecting this at birth based on genitalia in the first place? If Germany is willing to let babies with atypical sex organs grow up as neutral, why not take it one step further and allow all babies the option? Extend the same courtesy to all people instead of allowing this "othering" to continue for intersex folks. If nobody was assigned a gender at birth, but instead was allowed to grow up and announce it for themselves, imagine what kind of society it would be. There would be no need for normalizing surgeries, or for additional legislation to protect children who have been declared as "indeterminate." Children could be raised without the socially constructed gender stereotypes thrust on them by a doctor's announcement after looking between their legs.

Now THAT'S the type of world I'd like to live in.

Intersections

A few weeks ago my spouse and I were interviewed for a local newspaper.

Full story HERE

As you can see, this article has absolutely nothing to do with gender. It's focused on one aspect of our lives: our toy collection.

The reporter was very polite (although clearly out of his element when talking to giant toy nerds), and we spent a lovely hour or so chatting with him about our collections, and why we collect. He took a few photos, thanked us for our time, and left.

During it all, I wanted to politely ask him to write the article in such a way that used gender neutral language for me. Somehow, throughout the entire process of geeking out over toys, all I could think about was that this public snippet of my life was about to go out into the world, and I KNEW there would be female pronouns used. That knowledge actually caused me quite a bit of stress and internal turmoil.

I never did work up the courage to ask him. After all, that wasn't the can of worms he was here to talk to me about, was it? And did I really want to out myself to this complete stranger? How on earth would I explain it to him? And I live in one of the more progressive cities in the world. Our local university recently renovated to have gender neutral washrooms available for crying out loud, and weathered the controversy and conversations around it very well.

But you see, my gender isn't compartmentalized, that it only affects certain aspects of who I am. And I'm betting your gender isn't either. It's not a part of who I am, it is a foundational block for who I am.

 My gender runs through my entire life, intersecting with every other aspect of it.

Not enough

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I don't identify as trans*. I'm not transitioning any more or less than any other human in this world who grows, evolves, changes, and learns throughout their life. And yet, this has made me feel as though my voice is irrelevant when it comes to discussions on gender identity. After all, I'm biologically female, I still accept female pronouns because I'm not up for dealing with the hassle of convincing everyone to use gender neutral ones for me, and I'm not looking into hormone treatment or surgeries. They aren't the path for me. So I'm basically a girl, right? I mean, I can still access all of the privilege that comes with being perceived as the gender I was assigned at birth, and in trans* communities, I'm often regarded as not trans* enough.

Yet recently, as I've been browsing the blogosphere, I've noticed something missing. I follow a lot of blogs for transgender and gender variant individuals or their family. And yet out of all the ones I come across and read, every single one that deals with gender identity issues is the perspective of someone who is medically and/or socially transitioning in some way shape or form within the binary as a way to reach a more gender-neutral, or truly binary transgender life. There was a great post on Neutrois Nonsense recently which really hit home for me, and the comments made by readers really opened my eyes to something.

What about those of us who identify as genderqueer, and yet aren't taking any medical or social steps to change our gender? Where is our voice in this great big world? I commented on that blog post that there aren't many voices out there for those of us who don't identify within the binary, and yet are content living our life as is. I found it to be a big challenge to know that of all the many gender-variant blogs and websites I browse, I only rarely get a quick glimpse of others in the same boat as myself on Genderfork.

Ok, this blog has pretty much dropped off of my radar since I wrapped up my 365 project. I didn't know what else to say, and really, I'm not very good at updating regularly. I think that became pretty clear during the 365 itself. But I think I've found this blog's purpose. The reason there aren't that many blogs or narratives out there for the gender variant folks like me is because none of us have spoken up. It's just as much my fault as it is everyone else's. I can't lay the blame on everyone else's feet without getting mud on my own shoes.

I prefer Whipped Cream

When it comes to dessert toppings, my favourite is whipped cream. I'm really not a fan of ice cream at all, and especially not as a topping to pie. I know, to publicly state that I don't like ice cream makes me a bit of a pariah, especially this time of year when we're all looking for ways to cool off. But there, I've said it.

And how does that make you feel? Knowing my dessert preferences are out of the norm? For the most part, people look at me a bit bewildered, but then accept it and carry on. After all, that leaves more ice cream for them, right?

So why is it there is an entire movement trying to scientifically, genetically prove (or disprove) varying sexual orientations and gender identities?

We could get into WHY I don't like ice cream. Maybe it was a childhood trauma (brain freeze resulting in a tantrum which knocked my high chair back- bashing my skull into the brick chimney). Maybe I have a genetic predisposition against dairy (too much makes my tummy hurt- but thats not true of all dairy). Or it could be my sensitive teeth make ice cream painful. Or I could just not like the taste of frozen cream. Who knows, because nobody is challenging my very right to exist on my lack of interest in ice cream.

And yet the LGBT* community faces this ALL THE TIME.

Know what? I don't care WHY I'm queer. I just know that I am. Isn't that enough to warrant just as much of a right to happiness and self expression as the next person?

Genderfree #4

Well folks, another week has gone by (where did it go, by the way?), so I guess it's time for another



For some reason our culture is obsessed with body hair. Where it's acceptable, and where it isn't. It's also obsessed with the fact that how you remove that hair must conform with your gender (because each gender is required to groom different areas in order to be accepted).

So for this week, I challenge you to find me gender neutral razor. You know, something you can shave with- be it your face, your legs, your pits... doesn't matter.



Genderfree Challenge #3

Apparently Stat holidays totally screw up my internal clock. I meant to post this yesterday (Monday), but because of the stat holiday for Canada Day giving me yesterday off of work, I completely forgot it was Monday. Go figure.

This week's Genderfree Challenge: Deoderant.

No one wants their smell to be offensive. We all have different definitions of what that means though. Why do those definitions need to be aligned with our gender?



About a year ago, Hubby and I were shopping and we both needed to pick up deoderant. We were at Costco, and I couldn't find anything I liked there in "women's" deoderant. They were all over priced super "moisturizing" to reduce the irritation from shaving. I haven't shaved my arm pits in a few years, so I certainly don't want to spend extra money on deoderant with features I'll never make use of. Hubby says to me "why don't you just get this stuff?" (pointing to the same stuff he buys).

It was like a bomb went off in my head. I hadn't even considered it a possibility until that moment. Our society has me so brainwashed that I couldn't even THINK of not using women's deoderant. I texted my buddy (a transgender man), and his response was "Honestly I'm surprised you hadn't switched already." As though this is everyday stuff for him. But for me, it was groundbreaking.

It was also awesome as it shows me just how amazing my Hubby actually is.

Oh- and as a complete side note- I find I'm less stinky since I stopped shaving my underarms. I rarely even use deoderant these days, and so far no one has complained. I find basic cleanliness works well at keeping the odours at a minimum.

Genderfree Challenge Week 2

When I originally posted the idea of a "gender free challenge," my goal was to challenge those who identify comfortably within the binary to take five minutes out of their day and live in my (and many other non-binary types) shoes. It was to help raise awareness of how many needlessly gendered items there are out there in society. But as this grew through Neutrois Nonsense's Tumblr, it got me thinking of how valuable of a resource this could become for other gender variant folks. Know of a brand of gender free adult vitamins? Great! Share it with the community! Know a store that has gender free adult vitamins available for sale? Great! Let the rest of us know, so we may shop there also.

And so, regardless of how you identify, I issue this week's Challenge!

This week, I challenge you to find a package of baby socks that is not labelled as "boys" or "girls." It's true that you can find packs with "neutral" colours in them (greens, yellows, etc), but even those generally tend to state on the tag that they are for boys or girls.



As with every challenge, I encourage you to come back and let me know how it was. Were you able to easily find them? If so, what store were you in? Tell me- what will you do if you ever hope to buy baby socks before the baby is born? Let's hope everyone tells you the gender as soon as they find out from an ultrasound!!! REALLY????? Speaking from personal experience, I think it's ridiculous, which is why a pack of baby socks is this week's Gender Free challenge!